Sunday, May 17, 2009

Ragnarök: Coming Soon?

Every Norseman knows that the world is going to end in a calamitous battle between the gods and the forces of Jotunnheim, but there are more and more indications that Ragnarök could be right around the corner. What you can do to be prepared for the the time when the Midgard serpent gnaws the very root of Yggdrasil, the World Tree, and Ferriz the Wolf swallows the sun:

Wrap up that last-minute raping and pillaging, sacrifice a goat, take you sword and/or battle axe in for tune-up and get those edges honed for the hordes of Niflheim.

Get In Shape
Core strength and flexibility are crucial for the end of the world and the Destiny of the Gods. Make sure you always warm up, stay hydrated, and keep fit in the rape-and-pillage off-season by attacking cows, trees, or other Vikings.

Know The Signs
The first sign of Ragnarök will be Fimbulvetr, during which time three winters will arrive without a summer, and the sun will be useless, then greed will cause brothers to kill brothers and fathers and sons will suffer from the collapse of kinship bonds. Fenriz, the world-consuming wolf will shake loose from his chains. Ultimately, Heimdall holds the Gjallarhorn in the air and blows deeply into it, summoning the gods to battle with the Midgard Serpent and the forces of doom, and then it's game on, Vikings!

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